one more year, I'll be an ADULT!

12 Sep 2007 18:34

at first i thought, wow, im 17 im getting older! but now i dont think of it as just getting older. in one year away from being officially an adult. i don't like that for some reason.
If you make a big mistake, you cant really go crying to your parents anymore. the thought of being judged differently because of being 18 seems scary.

"one year left of being a minor.. one year left... one more year than im an adult..." the thought echoes in my head all the time.

sometimes i dislike the idea of being an adult. i feel i would rather stay 16 or 17. one of those reasons is being an adult while some of my friends (male and female) remain minors feels weird. i should set a good example for them, and that feels heavy on my shoulders.

Out of all friends except Erich and Camden, im the oldest. its like im expected to be the first to walk in the dark tunnel, or the one who is supposed to be the smartest, or most mature, or other things.

One of my oldest male friends is in college. is there a difference between liking a guy from college at this age, when i got guy friends in college already? is there really a difference? is either one wrong?

i like being 17 but i feel scared of all the difference being 18 will make.

another interesting thing, i got a few older guys (not by too many years) that i could be open with when i turn 18. i dont see it as adult men hitting on a minor if im not a minor anymore. the feeling of being more ready for older guys is kinda new. i think i have too much confidence.

all this has been going through my head and i don't know how to get rid of it.

*sigh* i need some tea. I worry too much for my own good

*gets up from chair to fetch some night tea*

written at 10:31pm.
wed, sep 12, 2007.

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User comments

by borhan9 @ 14 Sep 2007 13:56

Intresting blog there. 18 is not as bad as you think it does feel like you are entwering in uncharted waters however you will soon realise that the feeling is no different to what you felt when you were younger. The legal effect your age has on you i am sure you are aware of and you seem to be very level headed. I just say take things slow and see what comes for you.

If you feel things are getting to much just close your eyes are breathe it helps.

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