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new school year; fresh thoughts

23 Sep 2007 13:33 (Edited: 23 Sep 2007 13:33)

I absolutely love the way my best friendships are about the things that matter, not the superficial. As I get to the end of the first year of my classes and enter the final stretch, I find myself reflecting more and more on how much we have grown and learned; how great it is to have friends whose minds are deep enough to not be threatened by a smart girl, who appreciate that anyone can be born with meaningless childlike cute looks but only those who really care enough to give their all and are not afraid to get in there and work hard are capable of being someone worth spending time with. Years down the road, it will be what we did for others that matters and not how hard we tried to look like teenagers. So much of what teachers do as professional nowadays involves a great deal of teamwork and respect and the same lessons are just as applicable to everyone in all walks of life; professional and private.
I think it’s just as bad to sell out and forget how to have fun as it is to remain immature and rudderless forever. Socrates had it right when he said the unexamined life is not worth living. If you’re just going through your life and not happy with the way it’s going and haven’t stopped to analyze what your goals are, what actions you are taking that sabotage your goals and what actions you are taking or should be taking to achieve them, you will never get there. Who or what are you giving your time and attention to? What values, whose opinions are guiding your behavior? Are they really in your best interest or are they pulling you inexorably away from what you really want? There are no vacuums in life; either we will influence what happens to our lives or the opportunity will be left open for others to choose for us. If we do not actively prioritize time for rest, stress relief, friendship and love in our lives, work will demand all of our time. If we believe that what we want does not matter, we allow others to forever keep us from our goals. A research study often quoted by self defense trainers reminds us that when convicted muggers were shown movies of people walking down the street, they picked out those whose body language showed a lack of confidence and awareness of where they were headed as easy targets and explained that they would avoid those whose body language did not scream, “I am a victim.” We do this all the time. Do we show by our actions and attitudes that we are victims whose opinions and goals are irrelevant or do we let the world know we are strong people who have a purpose in life and are headed there? Do we treat others with the same respect we demand from them so that they will work with you as a respected equal or at least not take advantage of you? Or does the way we act and what we allow others to do show them that we don’t even value ourselves enough to go for what we want. If you don’t care enough, why should anyone else? We may not feel confidence at first, but other psychological studies show that the more people act the way they want to feel, the more they really feel that way. People who made an effort to smile and act like confident people got treated better and became more confident. This is what Eleanor Roosevelt meant when she said, “Do something every day that scares you.”
Whether you’re a student yourself, or not, the traditional beginning weeks of the school year are a good time to really ask ourselves if we are examining our life and if we aren’t, why don’t we believe in ourselves enough to feel we are worth that?

 

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