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Emotional health , dysfunctional ties

14 Mar 2007 19:01 (Edited: 14 Mar 2007 19:01)

Being together is not supposed to be about two people lying to one another about who they are and what they need out of life so they'll even put up with each other. It's supposed to be about being with the one who loves and accepts you for the incredibly wonderful person you are, and who knows no day will be right without being together. It's not about thinking that if only that person would change a hundred different things about themselves that then they would be ok. It's about people who genuinely need each other so much and genuinely care about each other being with each other every day because they have to be together, whatever it takes, or that day just won't be right. People learn to hide important parts of themselves from others after having repeatedly experienced rejections too painful to risk experiencing again. When there are many things about yourself that you must hide from someone in order to feel emotionally safe around them, you have to realize that this person is not capable of loving you as unconditionally as you need to be loved. However much they may try play on your feelings of guilt for wanting to stand up for your own emotional health, if they are incapable of handling the truth, then they don't even love the real you. They want someone who doesn't exist, someone they want you to be for their own needs, not for the good of both. Martyrdom is vastly overrated.

 

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